


crushes are a very human sort of pathetic

by cinnamanro



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crushes, Emotional Support, F/F, Gay Panic, M/M, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, mlm and wlw solidarity except make both parties emotionally repressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamanro/pseuds/cinnamanro
Summary: “You could just talk to him about it, you know”Ian simply slumps down further on the wall of their shared dorm room, spine bending at an angle that surely can’t be healthy. His hoodie falls over his eyes as he slides down and he grumbles. *He looks like a turtle*, Jen thinks, not bothering to hide her snort.His responding glare is halfhearted, and not in the slightest intimidating. “Well, yes, technically I could do a lot of things, like uh... I *could* start on the final project for Calc, or you *could* stop pestering me about this, but I don’t see either of those happening anytime soon.”````````````````````````````````````I wanted to post one of the writing drabbles I made recently, just some gay venting thoughts. Please enjoy, if you've somehow stumbled across this.
Kudos: 2





	crushes are a very human sort of pathetic

“You could just talk to him about it, you know” 

Ian simply slumps down further on the wall of their shared dorm room, spine bending at an angle that surely can’t be healthy. His hoodie falls over his eyes as he slides down and he grumbles.  _ He looks like a turtle _ , Jen thinks, not bothering to hide her snort.

His responding glare is halfhearted, and not in the slightest intimidating. “Well, yes, _technically_ I could do a lot of things, like uh... I _could_ start on the final project for Calc, or you _could_ stop pestering me about this, but I don’t see either of those happening anytime soon.”  She grins slightly at that, not looking up from her book. “True. But those are completely unchangeable, you know, I’m contractually obligated to annoy you, and _you’re_ allergic to work. You actually have a minuscule chance to clear things up between the two of you.”  He scoffs. “Well, thank you  _ ever  _ so much for the vote of confidence, consider me well and truly comforted.” He groans, curling even further into himself. She finally looks up, at that. “...It’s hopeless” he mumbles.

She sniffs, considering, and places her book to her side. “You’re… very upset about this, aren’t you?”  He peeks up from under his hood to level her with a dull stare.  “What a fantastic observation.” She rolls her eyes, sighing a little. “Look.. this isn’t, well, this isn’t my area of expertise, but… what are you even afraid of? she asks awkwardly.

He scoffs. “What am I afraid of? Of making a fool of myself, obviously, I’m pathetic like this, and I don’t intend to feed into my own childish delusions.”

She barks a short little laugh at that, “To be fair, you don’t need any extra help for you to make a fool of yourself, Ian-”  His glare this time actually has a bit of venom in it, poorly masking his embarrassment. He starts to sit up 

“Look, I didn’t come here for you to tell me how idiotic I am, I already _know_ so-”  She raises her hand to stop him “No, no! You know I’m just teasing man. Seriously, we can talk about it, okay? I didn’t mean it like that.”

He settles back down against the poorly painted white wall, disgruntled. “Fine.”

Silence settles between them, a bit uncomfortable. “Uh… why do you think having a crush is pathetic?”

He throws his hands in the air, clearly getting fed up “Because it  _ is _ , I have a doctorate to work on, I do not have  _ time _ to deal with me tripping over myself for a man I just met. It is.. It’s  _ humiliating _ , I’m always on top of things, but as soon as he comes around I become a mess. Do you even _know_ how many times he’s gotten me off my daily schedule?”

She tiredly indulges him “How many?”

“ _Twelve,_ twelve full times-”

“Of course you’ve been counting-”

“Ugh-just, I can’t afford to lose myself to this okay? I can’t- I don’t have time, for this, or him, or… for me, I suppose”

Jen sits for a moment, processing his words, trying to find the proper balance between supportive and exasperated. “Owen… you can’t just" She sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “Take it from me, okay? You can’t just… push this stuff away, it  _ always _ comes back to bite you in the ass. It just doesn’t work, trust me.” He stiffens slightly upon hearing this, and looks back at her hesitantly “...You’re talking about her, aren’t you?” He asks gently.

She freezes, and looking down pointedly. “ That is… beside the point. All I’m saying is that. Look, romance is not the end all be all, obviously, but... well, he makes you  _ happy _ Ian. Do you know how much more you’ve started smiling since you met him? He makes you so, so  _ happy _ , and you deserve it. You deserve to feel worthwhile even when you’re not a perfect little machine.” 

Ian’s dead silent by this point, staring down at the ugly beige carpet in their dorm room. “...I don’t want to make him uncomfortable,” he says, arms pulled tight around himself.

Jen let out a little laugh at that, incredulous and endeared by one of her favorite idiots, as always. “Have you met him? He’s  _ always _ uncomfortable, he's almost on par with you” Ian blushes just a bit deeper at that, a soft smile fighting its way onto his face. “But he’s also a good dude, which you know, and, romantically or not, he cares about you, which you for some reason seem unable to comprehend. Please just let yourself have this, man, come on. Just... try.”

“I’ll- hmm...” She raises her eyebrows. “I’ll  _ try, _ yes fine. Emotion talk over, you can go back to being an asshole again,” he says with no real malice. He’s back to curling into himself, but Jen can tell it’s more about hiding his smile than any genuine discomfort. They sit there a moment, unsure how to continue, Jen picking at the carpet with her fingers, and Ian trying to reel in his racing mind.

“Goddamnnit,” He says, looking back up after a minute with a smile he seems distressed to find still on his face. "Why'd you have to give me, hope, I hate this," He says, still smiling.

Jen laughs properly at this, “My god you’re ridiculous.”

He tries to shoot her a scowl, but its ever so slightly undercut by the quiet but immovable joy on his face, “And you’re a jerk”

“You know it, bud,” She says as she flicks his forehead, leaving the room to let him squawk protests on his own time.

**Author's Note:**

> Critiques welcome, if you've read this far lol


End file.
